Good morning
Sorry for the delayed report - these are delegated each week to a player by choice of the skipper.
Reporter for this week was Chris Chown
And so, on a sunny April Sunday, after months of hibernation, many cricket bags were reunited with their owners, thus signalling the beginning of Leavenheath Cricket Club’s 2026 season. Before the cricket began, however, there was the pressing concern of a pre-match pint in the Hare and Hounds beer garden to discuss ‘tactics/b*ll*cks’.
It was here that I learnt that our humble, self-declared GOAT, Tris Skinner, had his crocked knees up on the sofa, watching his beloved Everton lose to Liverpool - a very different kind of knees-up from what he’s used to.
We then departed to the ground - or, as christened by Logey last year, 'The Pleasuredome' - where Jeppo won the toss and decided to field.
This immediately paid dividends when Nev ran out their opener from deep backward square leg. The usual Leavenheath fielding returned to the fore (i.e. dropped catches), with the exception of Logey, who acrobatically saved the ball from going for four multiple times while fielding at point.
Despite bowling well, the opening pair of Callum Waugh and Dan Common(s) went wicketless during their opening spell. Jeppo and new recruit Min carried on in the same vein; the fast bowling of Min causing a myriad of problems for Boxted’s batsmen.
However, it wasn’t until Logey came on that the second wicket finally fell: a looping full toss hitting the top of the batsman’s pad for lbw. There was some conjecture afterwards as to whether it was actually out, seeing as the batsman was about 6 ft 7 in.
Alongside Logey, Chowny bowled his left-arm 'very slow' to good effect - essentially boring the batsmen to sleep - but did not take any wickets.
There was then an appearance by someone 'not named' Stewart Wells - on strict instruction not to bowl by his wife, Emily, due to his terminally bad back - with a suspiciously similar run-up and whippy bowling action. However, he was pulled for four twice by Boxted’s talented opener and decided that was enough.
So, it therefore fell to Kieron Lock to get their opener out (caught Waugh for 70) during a good spell of medium pace.
The return of Cal and Common(s) elicited better success for them this time around. First, Jeppo took a spectacular diving catch at long-on off Cal’s bowling, before taking an easier one off Dan’s. Dan, in a man-of-the-match performance, then went on to collect two more wickets (one clean bowled, one caught by Lock).
Boxted thus ended their innings on 117–7 off 30 overs, a target we have failed to reach on many occasions: This is typically known as the quintessential England cricket team batting collapse and is practiced up and down the country.
After tea (the main reason why I play cricket), Bev and Nev opened the batting. Bev started at lightning speed - rather like Sonic in turbo mode - hitting thunderous fours to all parts of the ground. Nev, having played an anchoring role for several overs, eventually got going with some well-crafted strokes (31 not out).
With the total in sight, Bev was well caught on the long-on boundary for 66, setting the scene for Logey (11 not out) to win the match with a monstrous six over mid-wicket.
An emphatic win for the first match of the season and, in our revelry, we forgot to put a plastic chair away in the pavilion, causing much consternation for our clubhouse manager.
This Sunday we play Sampfords at 'The Pleasuredome'. Please come and watch what is sure to be a scintillating, high-quality cricket match. Thank you.