Candidates aspiring to be members of the Leavenheath Cricket Club are asked to demonstrate
1 - An ability to both breathe and cast a shadow in direct sunlight, preferably concurrently. This is taken to demonstrate a sign of life.
2 - Immense wealth and an obsessive desire to share it.
3 -A directorship or majority shareholding in a brewery, vineyard or distillery.
4 - A proven record of cricketing success at a minimum of first-class level, preferably with overseas experience and in all formats of the game (limited overs, test and day/night).
5 - An attractive and gregarious wife or girlfriend (or both) to provide prospective team mates with comfort and solace on an intimate and individual basis during difficult passages of play.
Those who are unable to meet any or all of these stipulations will be asked whether they wish to join the Club and upon receipt of the correct answer ("Yes"), will be admitted without further question, but a further examination of the candidate's credentials may be undertaken in the public bar of The Hare and Hounds under the watchful eye of a refillable pint glass!
Alternatively, please send a query via this website to the Club Captain and Vice Captain. We'll then get in touch. Please use the 'CONTACT' button across the top of this page.